In a survey I recently took about being an expat in Spain, I was asked whether I had every ‘put my foot in it’ culturally or linguisticly since arriving 11 years ago… and one experience came straight to mind.
A few years ago Marina and her sister were swimming in their parents’ pool up in the sierra beyond Madrid. As I sat on the edge lazing around, Marina’s sister swam up behind Marina and, as one does in swimming pools, playfully ducked Marina’s head under water.
Marina emerged seconds later with a wild exclamation of: “ZORRA!”
Zorra (noun) = female fox, or (slang) whore
“Zorra Tu“, shouted Marina in return, and they both splashed about laughing.
Now there’s an inventive use of the language I thought, one for the databanks, can’t wait for an opportunity to try it out myself!
The next day, back at the poolside, two of Marina’s oldest friends, a married couple, came round for tea. Pool antics ensued, and when Marina pushed me from the side into the water, I seized my chance to try out my favourite new word:
“Zorrrrrrrrrraaaaa!” I cried in delight, when I resurfaced….
” – – – “, replied Marina, a mute expression of total disgusted horror on her face.
Later, long after they had left, and Marina still hadn’t spoken to me for about 5 hours, in desperation I managed to corner her in the kitchen for the following enlightening conversation:
Ben: “What the hell is wrong?”
Marina: “Are you stupid or what?”
Ben: “Clearly, because I haven’t got a bloody clue what’s wrong with you!”
Marina: “Don’t be so ridiculous, I can’t believe you don’t know why I’m so pissed off…”
Ben (pausing for divine inspiration): “Ummmmmm… Nope.”
Marina: “YOU CALLED ME A WHORE IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS, IDIOT.”
Ben (wracking brains for proof this might be true): “Um, are you sure?”
Marina: “You called me a Zorra when I pushed you in the pool!”
Ben: “Oh yes that, ha ha, I’d been waiting to use that for ages!”
Marina: “…eres un gilipollas, vamos…” (=You stupid d*ickhead)
Ben: “But… but you and your sister said the same thing to each other in the pool just the day before!”
Marina: “THAT’S DIFFERENT!”
Ben: “???”
And so another part of my Spanish education was complete. Your wife may call her sister a whore in front of you, and her sister may equally be-whore her in return, and it’s all good fun!
But woe betide you if you dare to presume to learn by mimicry. What works for one person in situation A, is by no means available to you in the similar, but almost-inappreciably-different, situation B.
I tried to explain this to Marina of course, that I was just a victim of the ‘witness, commit to memory, try it out soon’ school of language learning, but sadly she was still slow to forgive. Took about four years if I remember correctly before the whole event was truly forgiven (but not forgotten).
So be warned! A Spanish woman may be a zorra in front of her sister, but never in front of her friends.
Notes from Spain by Ben Curtis 